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Why some women stop other women succeeding

A woman whom I know name called another woman that she doesn't really know a "gold digger" to me this week. I was mortified. Not only was she completely wrong, and she knew it, she was acting out against another woman due to her own personal insecurities and trying to influence another. On top of this, the person she name called is a highly successful business woman who is 100 percent self made and never taken a penny from any male. She lives a highly luxurious life on her own dime and everyone knows it.

The name caller is also highly successful in her own right - which is even more interesting and to the point.

Neither party really know each other... but it is a classic female behavioural trait that unfortunately, as a woman, we see too much off. Women are women's biggest enemies - no question.

If the 'other' woman had been a man, do you think that this woman would have name called regardless of her insecurities and own personal issues? I don't think so. In fact, I know she would not have.

I see this too often. You sit in a boardroom with men and one other woman, and when it comes time to discuss other women and the promotion of them, the woman seems to almost always put forth the biggest objections and quite often, they are without merit. However, they always have a 'man' to put forward citing that they are the best person for the job. 

Is this because women that are successful are competitive, and am I being unrealistic in calling this out when we all congratulate men that are competitive for their ability to rise to the top?

I am now in my forties, and normally I don't hear socially too much said against other women. The reason being that I don't tend to surround myself with people who don't have a nice thing to say. I also refuse to tolerate slander of any description and usually the person who is doing it, shows no biase as to who they choose to be their next victim. I am not dumb, and am acutely aware of this 'sort' of person. I stand up to them even though I know it then puts me on their radar - which isn't a great place to be but if no-one stands up to these bullies, then they get away with it.

It also can be said that in your forties, hopefully you should be a bit wiser and more secure in your own skin, but this is not always the case.

I sat in a meeting yesterday discussing 'the glass ceiling' with a powerful, knowledgeable business man with a billion dollar company. He is pro women rising to the top and encourages them to stand up and be counted. He knows the value of a woman in the board room and regardless of gender always hires the right person for the job. Very admirable.
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He asked me if I had felt the 'glass ceiling'. I said, "of course not... it doesn't exist any more in Australia".

I say this with full knowledge that in some places, there may be discrimination, but in general I believe that women that have the right skills will be promoted on their own merit.

There will always be men, and women for that matter, who block other women from being promoted, due to jealously, personality dislike, and a variety of other reason - but is that any different from hiring anyone? If we all looked in the mirror, don't we see someone who has a greater affinity to some people, and not to others. Is gender really playing a part in all of this.

I truly believe that if you work hard, and you have the right skills and leadership capabilities, you will rise. I also believe that if you have half the skills and happen to be in the right place at the right time, you will also get the job.

In fact, in some cases, you may only get the job ahead of your male counterpart because you are female, as there are quotas to be filled, or the company wants to send a message to everyone else in the organisation and/or broader community. Perhaps they just want the publicity. There are many reasons, some with merit and some without.

I have to applaud groups like Business Chicks founded by a beautiful woman, Emma Isaacs, that promotes women supporting other women. She has done a phenomenal job over the past 10 years bringing women together and celebrating their achievements. Likewise is newbie on the block, Jo Burston who has successfully launched Inspiring Rare Birds, to encourage women around the world to become entrepreneurs and support each other in doing so. This is a big picture initiative and I can see her ambitions being realised. 

Both of these women have been there and done that. They are successful, kind, inspirational and focused on the cause rather than their own self promotion. I have never heard either woman knock another woman down. Instead, they both see the best in the women around them.

To be successful in business you have to learn to understand yourself and the people around you. If you find that you have a pang of jealousy towards a colleague or friend, think about why you feel that way. What about them is making you feel insecure? Why don't you want them to be successful? Do you believe that you are not good enough? If so, work on it. Don't throw stones. Don't put another woman down. Don't use your power or influence to be unkind to another. Stay focused on your own race, not someone else's. And never, ever name call another - regardless of gender. It just shows a lack of class and your own vulnerabilities that no-one in their right mind would ever listen to.




comments ( 2 )
  • Lauren OConnell
    Lauren OConnell
    29 Jul 2015

    I agree with everything you have said in this article. Women can be viscous; going to a girls school & playing girls sports has taught me that. We often tear each other down more than any man could.

    I like what you have said about the issue of the 'glass ceiling'. I think too often feminists look at statistics, like women in senior positions & disparities between male & female average incomes, and take them out of context. They fail to acknowledge the lag we are experiencing from lower female education rates, they typically take more time off to have children or the fact that men are typically more attracted to higher earning occupations. Women should not be promoted purely on the fact they are women, they should be rise due to their qualifications and suitability to a role.

    I do however, think that to deny it all together may be questionable. I have heard that it is very difficult for women as doctors or surgeons, and women in politics also speak of the glass ceiling.

    Reply
  • Giulia Sarti
    Giulia Sarti
    27 Jul 2015

    This article was very interesting as it makes you reflect if there is still discrimination out there in the workplace. It is hard to think that being in 2015 that women are still finding it hard to get to the top and it is disappointing to hear that a top executive woman and respected one as well can stop another woman to succeed and grow just because of jealousy or for any other wrong motivation reason.
    I do agree what this article states, that if you do have the skills and the right motivation, you can succeed as a woman and reach top executive positions, just like men.
    Men nowadays are getting used to more women in the workplace and like the challenge, women might bring to their work.
    Overall I think women need to work harder to achieve an executive position in companies nowadays and people need to stop being jealous or unprofessional towards others, stopping in this case someone's career and overall stop the chance to have someone who can also participate successfully to the business end goals.

    Reply

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