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What's holding you back and how to fix it immediately

What's holding you back and how to fix it immediately

Everyone has been there. You know, when you look in the mirror and wonder to yourself 'why you haven't achieved what you set out to achieve' and then give yourself an 'upper cut'. For those who don't know what that means, it's very Australian!

We control our own destiny and deep down, every person, even the one's that blame others for their 'lot in life', know that if you are not achieving something, then it's no-one's fault but your own.

They are harsh words. You may say that you wanted to be rich, but were never given the opportunity but we have heard lots of stories of people growing up dirt poor who become squillionaires or elite sportspeople - so that alone is no excuse.

We all want something. Many of use strive to achieve it and put the right actions in place to make it happen. When failure crosses our path, we get back up and dust ourselves off, then try again, perhaps in a different way.

But some people fail and then become too afraid to get back up. Worse still, some people don't even try, because they are so afraid of failure. For what? Someone is going to laugh at you? Someone is going to think you are not as good as you want them to think? Your ego will be bruised? These things are as silly as they sound. Toughen up and start putting into action the things you need to, to achieve your goals.

There is simply no excuse for not trying and certainly no excuse to blame others, your circumstances or anything else on why you can't do what you really want to do. Anything is possible, you just have to believe.

In my experience, people are often held back (including myself at times) by:

1. Procrastination:

I take full responsibility for the fact that I am a procrastinator. I have great ideas, but often sit on them a little too long or find every excuse as to why I can't do it - namely, because I am too busy. What a load of bullshit. If you want it, do it.

2. Commitment phobic:

Another great reason why you can't achieve what you set out to achieve. You are phobic of making a commitment to achieving it. You want to travel the world, but you find every reason not to book your flight. You want to buy a house, but you find every reason not to put down that deposit. This usually follows you everywhere in life. Work on it. Don't let this be your reason for not succeeding.

3. You are not flexible:

You will only do it your way. You don't listen to others, or take advice and mostly you don't listen to your gut instinct. For instance, you want to be a newsreader, but you live in Sydney, and there is too much competition for roles as journalists. So move to a country town with a small television station so you can learn the ropes and get noticed. But no, you can't move - right? Wrong. If you really want it bad enough, you will do it.

4. You expect instant results:

Let's face it. You most probably will fail the first time. So don't pack up your bags when this happens and head home. Get back up, and try it again. You start a business and it doesn't make you a millionaire over night. Do you close the doors? Or do you keep working at it? The only thing in life that gives you instant results is chocolate and alcohol.

5. The right time never comes:

You are waiting for the right time. When you have had kids, or when you have paid off your mortgage or better still, after Christmas or when the market changes. This is your mind playing delay tactics and winning.

6. You compare yourself to others:

There will always be someone prettier (or better looking) than yourself. There will always be someone smarter or more successful than yourself. Get use to it. Unless you are Bill Gates, which I take it your not if you are reading this blog, there is always going to be someone who makes it look easier than it is, or who will be better than you in some way. Play by your own rules. Own you! Never compare yourself to someone else, but by all means learn from others.






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comments ( 8 )
  • Elsie
    Elsie
    14 Aug 2015

    It can be very hard to stay focused on your goals in this overstimulated and overworked existence we live in today, and easy to justify why you didn't see something through or why you're not pursuing you passions. Great article, as I think we need to be reminded of this more often, and encouraged to be a little more risk-taking and determined in committing to, and achieving the goals we set for ourselves.

    Reply
  • Lynn
    Lynn
    13 Aug 2015

    One of my favourite writers Beau Taplin wrote a pieced titled "Dreamers" and it said "To make something of yourself you've got to know what it's like to get picked on, to be penniless, under pressure or treated like dirt. The bad times in life put a hunger in you. The dreamers and doers of the world are often those who've faced the most hardship yet found a way to flourish."
    Growing up with an Asian background, there was always an expectation for academic excellence and a successful career. My parents had always given me the freedom to follow my dreams however there was always that fear of failure or doubt that whatever I pursued would not be enough to give my parents bragging rights just like my other relatives had of their own children. On top of that I always found an excuse to delay what I wanted to do because making a commitment to go through with something was all too daunting. I think that surrounding myself with supportive and encouraging people had a major influence on me developing the courage to put myself in situations I normally wouldn't and try new things. Sure I've had my fair shares of falling short but I've learnt to use that as a motivating factor to push me towards bigger things. This piece has given me an opportunity to reflect on myself and has not only reminded me of things that I could improve on, but has also highlighted how far I've come.

    Reply
  • Lynn
    Lynn
    13 Aug 2015

    One of my favourite writers Beau Taplin wrote a pieced titled "Dreamers" and it said "To make something of yourself you've got to know what it's like to get picked on, to be penniless, under pressure or treated like dirt. The bad times in life put a hunger in you. The dreamers and doers of the world are often those who've faced the most hardship yet found a way to flourish."
    Growing up with an Asian background, there was always an expectation for academic excellence and a successful career. My parents had always given me the freedom to follow my dreams however there was always that fear of failure or doubt that whatever I pursued would not be enough to give my parents bragging rights just like my other relatives had of their own children. On top of that I always found an excuse to delay what I wanted to do because making a commitment to go through with something was all too daunting. I think that surrounding myself with supportive and encouraging people had a major influence on me developing my own courage to put myself in situations I normally wouldn't and try new things. Sure I've had my fair shares of falling short but I've learnt to use that as a motivating factor to push me towards bigger things. This piece has given me an opportunity to reflect on myself and has not only reminded me of things that I could improve on, but has also highlighted to me how far I've come.

    Reply
  • Elsie Fulton
    Elsie Fulton
    13 Aug 2015

    It can be very hard to stay focused on your goals in this overstimulated and overworked existence we live in today, and easy to justify why you didn't see something through or why you're not pursuing you passions. I think we need to be reminded of this more often, and encouraged to be a little more risk-taking and determined in committing to, and achieving the goals we set for ourselves.

    Reply
  • Pierre Lafarge
    Pierre Lafarge
    02 Aug 2015

    We all doubt from day to day, it is human to do so and it is good because it allow us to grow as an individual. It becomes an issue when this individual does not take the opportunity and settles in his confort zone instead of taking the risk to grow.
    I have travelled for four years now. Meeting people and creating new relationships, evolving academically and professionally in a different environment; it is hard not to doubt yourself some times. But you have to remember what you do has a purpose and that is why I wake up in the morning, to achieve my dreams! And even if I never reach them, I would have tried my best and this satisfaction is priceless.
    Failing is not something you should be ashamed of. Not a person on earth has succeed without failing at least once. What others can think or say when you fail does not matter. I always say that what other people think of you is none of my business.
    What is important in today's life is to try, TO TRY. If you are here, at this point in time, thinking/hesitating about the next step, you have got to think about what you already achieved to be here.
    The six points you made about what is usually holding people back are very true, I will not extend myself on them.
    To conclude if you want to be successful in the (near) future, always remember where you come from and look forward for change, its exciting! Be yourself!

    Reply
  • Samantha Wan
    Samantha Wan
    28 Jul 2015

    Life is a journey of ups and downs; therefore we always need to find the balance between these two to remind us that what we've gained throughout our lives are precious and unforgettable, even if it is failing. Without the downs, we wouldn't be able to know where to aim for and without the ups, we wouldn't know our checkpoints to our lives.
    This piece of article has made me think about being optimistic with the way I live and taking our journey to the next level. Thanks for giving me a positive guide to not to procrastinate because time is very precious and shouldn't be wasted on nothing.

    Reply
  • Hala Haddara
    Hala Haddara
    27 Jul 2015

    When you see that you are not the only one and everyone has been there somehow, it is kinda of relief. However, every point you mentioned was like looking in the mirror. You are right, we should do something about it and that's why I am never giving up no matter how many times I have failed.
    But sometimes you just need the right chance.

    Reply
  • Andrea Loh
    Andrea Loh
    21 Jul 2015

    You got me at "Procrastination", what a great article. We know these pointers but we just need to be reminded over and over again because we never fail to repeat the same mistakes.
    So, thank you for this reminder. Now I'm back "on" my business.
    ;)

    Reply