Are we all a bunch of know-it-alls?
Last night in New York, I was sitting at a dinner party where everyone was animated with lively conversation.
In no time, the conversation turned to dating, and with two single women in the room everyone was eager to establish the latest on their dating scorecards.
A very confident business woman explained that she had trouble dating and that being in her early 40s, most men that asked her out were in their early 30s or late 50s - but no-one in between.
She went on and explained in detail just how frustrating it is to date. With her very successful high profile business, commitments to travel and the fact that because she is in the public eye, she struggles with being noticed, this dynamic woman was fascinating.
In no time, the conversation turned to dating, and with two single women in the room everyone was eager to establish the latest on their dating scorecards.
A very confident business woman explained that she had trouble dating and that being in her early 40s, most men that asked her out were in their early 30s or late 50s - but no-one in between.
She went on and explained in detail just how frustrating it is to date. With her very successful high profile business, commitments to travel and the fact that because she is in the public eye, she struggles with being noticed, this dynamic woman was fascinating.
When she first walked in, my first impression was of this beautiful, young and confident woman who clearly knows what she wants and how to get it. But in the midst of conversation, the topic of flirting came up and she said she didn't flirt with men.
I called her out immediately with, "that is bullshit!" or something to that effect. Without realising it, she was flirting with her audience, and I certainly didn't know how any man that was single and available before her could resist her charm. Without doubt she is flirtatious and I thought nothing of telling this new acquaintance at this private dinner party as much.
Which brings me to the question: are we all a bunch of know-it-alls?
I know that at times I gather too much information on too many topics and once I have read something, I believe it is gospel and therefore I'm happy to voice an opinion as such. Sure, there are at least some facts behind it - or at the very least, a journalist from Rupert Murdoch's stable's opinions and research.
How would I know what is deemed flirtatious or not? While at the dinner party we all chuckled, I sat back today and thought that perhaps there was very little to substantiate my claim other than some banter in a group, a few laughs and someone who clearly has charisma.
Then there's politics. With the latest election in Australia just passed, I was surprised how many opinionated people there are out there. For instance, I congratulated our new Prime Minister on Twitter, and someone responded with the fact that it was the worst possible outcome for the country in their opinion. This was followed by, "The Liberals have put this country in debt."
I don't know whether this person has been sitting under a rock or has never viewed the financial balance sheet of the Government, but I can tell you one thing, this is a load of crap. It's the Labor Party that has done that over and over again - for reasons that are fiscal of course, but it certainly cannot fall into the blame of the Liberal Party - that's for sure.
I too don't know much in this area, after all I am a marketer, not a politician - but I know this much and was happy to voice it via Twitter.
Having put myself in the firing line for this blog, and the many other blogs that I share opinions for that no doubt have two sides that can be equally as substantiated - I would literally die if people thought I was a know-it-all. For me, it's one of the most deogratory labels one can have.
Most identify a know-it-all with a person who has a story that is "one-up" on everyone else at the table. You can never win, or tell a story and leave it at that. We all know the type, the people who when you tell them about your travels, they have been there and a dozen other places as well. If you dare to tell them about a dining experience, you will be bored to death by stories of better, more exotic places that they may have been. The best one in my experience is the business stories - but I won't bore you with those details.
So next time you come across a know-it-all - just smile. They probably know as much as you, but have a knack for telling it.
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Nathan Castor
26 Sep 2013I think that being a know-it-all is most commonly used by individuals as something of a defense mechanism. Most probably, a feeling of insecurity prompts us to crave attention, and we rush to ensure that we are not seen to be inferior to others.
ReplyThis attention-seeking can manifest in different ways; for instance, I often find myself jumping to defend my opinions when they are brought into question, especially when information that I was ignorant of is brought to my attention (such as with politics, to take an example from the blog post). For others, it could manifest through sharing experiences to appear interesting.
In effect, this is purely just a way of marketing ourselves. We build our own little brands, and then do our best to preserve our brand images. In my case, being seen as an intellectual by my peers has frequently prodded me to take exorbitant measures to preserve that image. However, lately I have been reforming my actions so as to be more humble, even if this means that others are viewed more favourably than I - and even if it means not landing a particular job interview because of being completely honest with my credentials while other candidates may have inflated theirs. In the end, image isn't everything. As you point out, no one wants to appear a know-it-all, even if, in reality, we all are ones.