Sometimes, there is never a good time

By this time in the morning,  I am dying for a coffee. Not because I am addicted to coffee, but due to the fact that this is my standard ritual. I have a bit of an obsessive compulsive personality and not a lot changes in my routine. No matter where I am in the world, this tends to be the start of every day.

While I walk to the coffee shop each morning I catch up on the news and social media. All up this takes around 20 minutes out of my day. 

I then go to the office which is walking distance in every city that I work, and start my day with a blog. I try to write a blog within 20 minutes as I don't have time to spare and I definitely don't want interuptions. Sometimes, I don't get this opportunity as I have actions that have derived from my conference calls but I try my best and our company gets more leads if I do this every day.

It's Wednesday and I've had luck on my side today. I finished the blog in 11 minutes then started to prepare for the day ahead. I re-wrote my 'to do list' even though I have an electronic one and there is one left over from yesterday because I have been doing this for 20 years and it reminds me of things that I may have missed. I also like the fact that I get to write on a piece of paper with a pencil. It's old school, and so am I to a degree.

What is different about my week and month if I am being honest, is that after an ah-ha moment in Los Angeles a few weeks back, I realized that I was missing something really big in my life, and that was to have children. Now, I have left it a little late. Actually, to use my own eggs, I have two months in which there is a window.

I don't like needles and I am not comfortable with any intrusive examinations - at all. My fears and everything I have been scared of has had to take a back seat because I have a plan, and I have to execute it fast and furiously.

Time is of the essence.

I've never thought long and hard about having children. The right person never came along. There has been no great love, just great partners along the way. I wanted to wait until that great love and the fairytale. Once again, I must reiterate that I am old-fashion.

But a series of dates with a man who ticks a lot of boxes, but isn't for me made me realize that I cannot wait forever to meet 'the one' because life might just pass me by.

In January, my dog, Pippa passed away and my life was turned upside down and inside out. I was devastated. I didn't know what to do with myself. I woke up every morning to this beautiful face snuggled in close. I took her for a walk and my routine began. With Pippa no longer in my life, I've had to adapt to a new way of living. I have spent most of my time on my company Robotic Marketer, seizing the opportunity that lays ahead of me, with a fast growth startup, first to market in a field that needed disruption.

This wake up call did something to me that I have been waiting my whole life for. It gave me silence and perspective. What is it that I want out of life? Who do I want to share it with? What did I dream about as a little girl? What is the reality for me now? The questions kept coming and like any entrepreneur, I didn't sit on my hands while answering them. Through this process, I grew a purpose. I want to share my life with people that matter and I have always wanted to have children.

It wasn't the first time that I went to the IVF clinic as I wanted to know my options some time ago, but this time I had precision focus. The Doctor was taken aback and gave me every reason not to do what I wanted to do. I ignored it because if I did everything that I was advised to do in life, I wouldn't be here today. Enough said.

So, I have signed up for the IVF process with donor sperm. Many of my male friends have offered their sperm but I have decided that I am wanting to do this alone. Very new age of me. In fact, this whole process is very new age and I think I am ok with it. In fact, I am about to embrace a new way of living, so different to anything I have imagined.

I am excited to bits at the prospect knowing full well that things may not go to plan. There has never been a good time for me to have children and I was waiting for 'the one' that never seemed to come along - so now is my time and I have put aside anything that stands in my way. There will always be excuses as to why I can't do this, but I can think of a million reasons why I can and should. 

Let's cross our fingers that this new fairytale works.