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How to build a new life from scratch

The first 30 days of any decision to make major changes in your life always comes with challenges. As habitual creatures, we tend to do the same things day-in, day-out, and that habit is hard to break.

Many of us make new years resolutions, and few follow them. Me included - well, kind of. I usually make one's that are easy to follow, and never add things like; be healthy, drink less, or go to the gym. In short, I rarely set myself up for failure. 

This year is a little different. I have experienced something that I never thought I would ever have to go through - and that is another family trauma. All of a sudden, as a control freak, everything is out of my hands, and all I can do is pray for the most positive outcome possible.

I did what I could, then when I realised that my usefulness in the situation was no longer key to the outcome, I hopped on a plane and headed for the snow. My happy place. The place where all I do is go down the slopes without a thought in the world. I did this for 8 solid days and my world become one that had no particular agenda. By this stage, I had not looked at my emails for more than 3 weeks. As a business owner, this is unheard of, but in my case necessary. Family first, business second. A lesson that I finally came to terms with.

As my snow trip came to an end, and I did little other than write my book, I hopped on another plane ready to tackle the real world in Atlanta. With a lot of time to reflect, I came to a realisation that my life needs to change. I need to change and evolve and find my purpose which is perhaps different to that of which it was last year.

Everyone is different, but here is my new starting point:

Perfection is good, but 80% is better

Life is never going to be perfect and we will never be able to live up to that impossible standard. The minute we realise that 80 percent is more than ok, our world, and stress levels will change.

Work is important, but not everything

I work very hard, but I have long realised that it is not work that defines me, but the person I am and what I can give to others. Building a business is fun and it is an accomplishment but it doesn't make you a good person, nor does it make you "successful". It just means that you were able to do something that you were possibly trained to do.

Family is where you start, but maybe not where you finish

This is controversial as only now have I realised what this means to me. I am very grateful for the family I grew up in, and the lessons they taught me, that have ensured that I have lived a good, positive life. My good manners, respect for others and common decency have come from a good upbringing. I never deliberately let any person down, and always try my best. I am now in my 40's and I have realised that I have changed in many ways, and so have my family. They are still great, but just like many of our school friends, we have less and less in common, if we haven't spent a lifetime working at making sure that our connection remains strong. This year, I am determined to open my life to my "new family" and that means people who I see in my life going forward. That means in many cases those born into my family and others that I have met along the way. Why restrict who is determined "family" by blood and why not open up the doors to people who add value, and touch your soul in some type of way.

Find your legacy

I've found mine. No it isn't Marketing Eye. It is Robotic Marketer. That is the game changer that I am bringing to the world and the field I have worked in for 25 years. It is the accomplishment that I am proud of and believe that from start to finish, I will be able to make a significant difference to an entire industry. In fact, I am creating an industry, and putting old technologies to bed.

Wake up each day, and tell a new story

I am a creature of habit. I drive the same way to work each day, at the same time of day and I drink the same coffee from the same coffee shop. Stuff that! Who does that shit!!!! How incredibly boring! Yet I do it, without thinking in auto-pilot. Not anymore. Every day is going to be different. Every experience is going to be unique and every person I meet is going to deserve my time. I will not drive, walk, or crawl the same way to work, nor conduct my day in the same way. 

Lose what you are afraid of

There are so many fears that block us from being who we really are. That is something every person faces, but if we tackle it with gusto, we can soon overcome our fears and open up a whole new world.

Be kinder than ever before

This is always my mantra but if you consciously try to be kind to every person you come into contact with - life has a way of rewarding you. However, it's not the reward I am after, but the impact it can have on other people's lives.

comments ( 2 )
  • Guta Menuci
    Guta Menuci
    14 Jan 2018

    Wow! That’s an excellent post, Melissa.

    I could relate to those topics, as human beings we tend to live life on autopilot and we stop taking risks. I am a real believer that we should reach our full potential and be the best version of ourselves.

    Finding our legacy in the World and sharing that with people is the key :)

    Thank you for inspiring me!

    Guta Menuci

  • Krish Peruvemba
    Krish Peruvemba
    11 Jan 2018

    Hi! Nice blog! Agree we are all creatures of our own habit. Congratulations in being different and great idea 'Robotic Marketer' - looks interesting. Will stay tuned in to hear more.
    Good Luck!


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