What you can learn as a small business owner from friendships
They say that it is lonely at the top, and although I am definately not at the top, I can definately relate to this feeling.
Having run a small business myself for 13 years, I can identify that at the end of the day, unless you have a business partner, it can be quite lonely.
On top of running a business, we have an issue with a client who is happy with the service, but owes us $80,000. And this is just for invoices raised in the month of February. After, continually asking about when the invoices will be paid as we have a strict 7 day policy, they keep replying that it is coming in the next few days. That started 6 weeks ago. I am sure they will pay, but the situation is stressful nevertheless because after years of dealing with business owners who spin stories, the trust factor on such things has somewhat diminished.
Having run a small business myself for 13 years, I can identify that at the end of the day, unless you have a business partner, it can be quite lonely.
Yesterday, was particularly stressful.
The business is going so well, and clients are literally running through our doors. Although we have mechanism in place for growth, there are always things to do, that when you add it to your own daily jobs, becomes overwhelming - if you let it.On top of running a business, we have an issue with a client who is happy with the service, but owes us $80,000. And this is just for invoices raised in the month of February. After, continually asking about when the invoices will be paid as we have a strict 7 day policy, they keep replying that it is coming in the next few days. That started 6 weeks ago. I am sure they will pay, but the situation is stressful nevertheless because after years of dealing with business owners who spin stories, the trust factor on such things has somewhat diminished.
All in all, these things can create stress.
After a massage two days ago - which might I add, added even more stress, I am in some serious need of de-stressing techniques. If you have any, please share! For those who get massages, you will relate to how stressful it is when the person massaging you thinks a feather brush approach is an industry standard massage. What you really want them to do is get down and dirty and massage out every last knot. The more pain, the bigger gain.
After dinner with a good friend of mine last night, I was reminded that my life isn't so bad. So what if I had a stressful day! Most of the year, I am highly motivated, full of life, loving every minute of my business and what that represents and I have friends and travel that keeps me looking forward to life and its one big adventure.
Friends teach you to keep it real.
When you have a stressful day, they are the first to listen to what you have to say, then remind you that it really is a 'small thing' in the scheme of things.They make you laugh, when you don't think that it is possible to laugh because you have so many things going on.
Friends keep your mind off the issues.
They talk about other things, so that you can 'turn off' at the end of the day.They give you good news. One of the most beautiful people I have ever met, inside and out, confirmed that she is pregnant, after trying for quite a few years with no luck. Isn't that what life is all about? The cycle of life and love.
Another girlfriend who lives in the West Coast of America confirmed on the same day that she is an Auntie for the first time. How special is that? As an Aunt to two very special boys who bring me so much joy and love - I get how exciting this really is. My two nephews are completely adorable and the best mannered children I have ever met in my life. At the age of 10 years, the youngest who is pure sunshine in every way, opens the doors for women, never asks for anything and always says thank you. When you give him a gift, he always says "you didn't need to do that, I am just happy you are here" - completely adorable.
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comments ( 9 )
Marco van Olst
06 Apr 2012This article is so clear and nice to read! I think that stress can be good, it keeps you focust and sharp. My father owns a small business and when he is stressed the whole family is. And I think that is not good. Because you have to keep things separated, your private life and you're business. For you're family it is not relaxt and the atmosphere is tense. So you have to find a balance between private and business. And sometimes you need a bit of stress to finish things or to get new inspiration.
ReplyYou're friends and family can be helpfull, because you can tell them what is wrong or why you are so stressfull. They can listen to you, and they can help you when that is possible. But it is very important to talk about good things in life, and to invest in your friends and family! They are the most important and valuable things in life!
Ren
04 Apr 2012The impact of stress and the power of support groups. What a fascinating topic!!
ReplyStress, it can tear you to shreds, drop your performance, make you feel anxious and make you look like you came from the gutter. With bags hanging under your eyes, dried out hair, dehydrated lips, your mind running a million miles an hour and your quick-to-respond narky attitude, there is no wonder people don't want to know you!!
However, when the world seems so far away from you, your goals seem shattered and you're so down on your self, the ones who can support your are your friends, your family. The people who know you the best!
These support people understand you, can relate to you and can make the biggest issue seem so trivial. They divert your attention, the make you see the world in a different light and they make you laugh uncontrollably.
As you pointed out, when you start sharing your problems with your closest support groups, they look out for you and assist you in many ways through you time of despair. You may find that they too may shadow you with their deepest, darkest secrets. Alternatively, they may sit there and not share their own problems, just to help solve your issues.
However, I do know that when you shine all the time, and display your strength over your worries, people see you as a rock, with a power suit. Amazingly, friends turn to you and ask for your help with issues. Lately I had three close friends of mine come to me with their problems and ask for some support. Back to back they came from varying age cohorts and asked me to enlighten them. It feels amazing to be that sounding board and to guide your closest friends through those eering and unsettling moments.
So to put this back into perspective and apply these thoughts to the business world, what could I say?
In a business, there is a chain of command, subordinates report to their managers, managers to senior management, senior management to their c.e.o.. But there is NOTHING stopping us from being a good friend to them too. By this I mean, don't get chummy with them, obviously there is a business relationship you have to maintain, but ask each other about their weekend, how they are actually feeling today and think about how you can make a difference to your colleagues and ultimately improve their productivity and morale of the business YOU work in. It could make your business a lot more pleasant to work within. I know a few bosses of mine, who are great at that. They actually ask " what did you do on the weekend, hows that book you're reading, hows your pets going". etc. it's amazing how great you feel after hearing that your bosses or your colleagues what to know how you feel.
The end result, again, YOU are working in a positive, pleasant working environment, all you have to do is SHINE.
Ren
04 Apr 2012The impact of stress and the power of support groups. What a fascinating topic!!
ReplyStress, it can tear you to shreds, drop your performance, make you feel anxious and make you look like you came from the gutter. With bags hanging under your eyes, dried out hair, dehydrated lips, your mind running a million miles an hour and your quick-to-respond narky attitude, there is no wonder people don't want to know you!!
However, when the world seems so far away from you, your goals seem shattered and you're so down on your self, the ones who can support your are your friends, your family. The people who know you the best!
These support people understand you, can relate to you and can make the biggest issue seem so trivial. They divert your attention, the make you see the world in a different light and they make you laugh uncontrollably.
As you pointed out, when you start sharing your problems with your closest support groups, they look out for you and assist you in many ways through you time of despair. You may find that they too may shadow you with their deepest, darkest secrets. Alternatively, they may sit there and not share their own problems, just to help solve your issues.
However, I do know that when you shine all the time, and display your strength over your worries, people see you as a rock, with a power suit. Amazingly, friends turn to you and ask for your help with issues. Lately I had three close friends of mine come to me with their problems and ask for some support. Back to back they came from varying age cohorts and asked me to enlighten them. It feels amazing to be that sounding board and to guide your closest friends through those eering and unsettling moments.
So to put this back into perspective and apply these thoughts to the business world, what could I say?
In a business, there is a chain of command, subordinates report to their managers, managers to senior management, senior management to their c.e.o.. But there is NOTHING stopping us from being a good friend to them too. By this I mean, don't get chummy with them, obviously there is a business relationship you have to maintain, but ask each other about their weekend, how they are actually feeling today and think about how you can make a difference to you colleagues and ultimately improve their productivity and morale of the business YOU work in. It could make your business a lot more pleasant to work within. I know a few bosses of mine, who are great at that. They actually ask " what did you do on the weekend, hows that book you're reading, hows your pets going". etc. it's amazing how great you feel after hearing that your bosses or your colleagues what to know how you feel.
The end result, again in a YOU working in a positive, pleasant working environment.
Brittany
03 Apr 2012High levels of stress can be such a painful experience.
ReplyI recently went through a few weeks of major stress, pushing away everyone close to me and just being in a foul mood.
But then I stepped back and realised that I have nothing to stress about. I just had to manage my time more efficiently, calm down and stop trying to control everything.
Mellissah your tips are great as they are simple and realistic. I wish I read them earlier before my mini-freakout!
At the end of the day it's those close to us that help us through our stressful times and it's important to rely on them rather than push them away.
ellah
02 Apr 2012I can only imagine what being an entrepreneur must be like, the level of responsibility and the pressures can be quite isolating and draining. A strong support system is definitely one of the best remedies of stress or any bad days.
ReplyI heard smiling tricks the brain into thinking you're happy. So when things get tough..remember to smile.
Cloe
02 Apr 2012Your article is so true.
ReplyI often visit your blog, I love your way of thinking.
Also, you have a really big talent for writing !
Raihan
29 Mar 2012I love this post as I myself am looking for ways to lessen my stress levels! The symptoms are crazy- pimples, losing hair, severe headaches etc. and yet I still panic easily and dive into a pool of stress when dealing with an issue.
ReplyI love the first bit of the post where you mentioned how its lonely being at the top. I've always thought it'll be great to share a business with a best friend or family member, but it scares me off to think the business could be a factor if there were to be fights or arguments and I'm better off alone dealing with decisions myself, but yes, it does get daunting as well to know you wouldn't have anyone to share the success with.
Good to kow you have such great friends to share your stories with :) and maybe yoga, going to the gym or even retail therapy would help with the stress.
Sophie
29 Mar 2012I think that when entrepreneurs are running a business, their relationship with their friends and their family are the most important. They spend a lot of time for their business and there are days more stressful than other, they need someone to listen them, to talk about other things... They need a balance between their private life and their business life.
ReplyStef
29 Mar 2012I am not the owner of a small business but I can understand what you mean when you talk about feeling so much stress. I have found that exercise helps a lot. I went from losing my hair and being constantly tired to being more positive and energetic (plus I got my hair back!). Being able to get all the stress out with physical activity worked for me, maybe it can work for you :)
Reply