An apology doesn't mean anything if you don't mean it
Yesterday I received an apology, actually two from someone. As I read it and re-read it, I realized that it wasn't an apology, it was just words so that the person could get themselves out of a spot of bother. They didn't care less about the apology, but were probably advised to do so.
They used the word "sincerely" yet it was then completed with a back-handed comment highlighting that they were not apologizing for what they had done, because they quite simply think they have done nothing wrong, but apologized because it was the only way in which they can avoid a bigger disaster.
I gave it to my lawyer and a psychiatrist to make sure that I wasn't reading it wrong. I also didn't have my glasses on so I wasn't sure that I had fully got the message as it was intended. Sure enough, there is not apology. There is just words saying apology and backed by other words that are meant to make it sound more sincere yet the back handed comment showed that the person was not genuine and really isn't giving me the respect I deserve. I did no wrong - he did.
If someone apologises and you know its not genuine, what do you do?
- You walk away and forget about it - it's not your job to teach them the lesson
- You think long and hard about how it affects all parts of your life and make a decision with counsel from people you respect and trust.