How a man can make their woman more successful
Yesterday, I wrote a blog on how women can help their man to be more successful. As promised, today I am focusing on how men can help their women be more successful (in business).If you are a man and lucky enough to have a woman that is determined, ambitious, talented and intelligent - as well as owning their own business or having a high flying career - then count your lucky stars. You are in the minority.
Women that have chosen a path of career or running their own business (and are successful - usually in the money stakes and through recognition) often have a lot of drive. They are passionate about what they do and can usually climb any mountain - corporate or otherwise. They offer a lot in terms of intellectual stimulation and are equals on many levels.
Their intelligence can often be an issue with men because they usually know the difference between right and wrong and are happy to voice it.
This blog is very much about successful women and does not at any stage discount the important and beautiful role of a mother and wife. I believe that the ultimate success in life is to have a happy, healthy family that grows together and I know many wonderful, intelligent and talented women that have chosen this path and have been incredibly successful in helping their man be more successful through love and support.
This blog is for men who have chosen successful women or are thinking about it.Tips on how to help your woman be more successful:
1. Encouragement: By always encouraging her to be her best and to bring out the best in people around her, you will see her shine in ways you never imagined were possible.
2. Understand that men are from Mars and women are from Venus: Don't expect that she is on your wavelength in everyday communications - as she is not. She still is a woman, so you need to think twice about some of the things you say and do. In business, she may be totally understanding of everything you say but never be fooled by the two.
3. Listen: Sometimes as a business woman, all we want is for someone to listen to what we have to say. Mostly, when it is off our chest, we don't think about it again and it isn't a problem anymore. But by you listening, you are saving someone else from having to listen to it or her stewing on it.
4. Take out the garbage: There are some things women should never do and while our less successful counterparts may not place emphasis on things like this, we know we are worth it. We know that we bring to the equation a lot and therefore, we expect to be treated accordingly. That means that you need to be a gentleman - always, and things like taking out the rubbish or organising the car to be serviced are quite simply man jobs.
5. Understand stress: We all act differently with stress. I for one lose weight even though I am eating for a small country. Its a sad reality particularly when you are not keen on losing weight and know that the only result is you looking tired and withdrawn. I also can act differently at times when I am stressed because I am not thinking things through as I may do when my life is calm and in control. Whatever the situation, your job as a man is to nurture the woman, support her, cuddle her and let her know that you are there no matter what.
6. Offer advice: When asked, but be sure that it is backed by either your personal experience or by the experiences of others around you. There is nothing more annoying than when a man gives unsubstantiated advice and then wonders why a woman ignores it. For all the EOers out there reading this blog - you get what I mean here!
7. Be ready for change: If you thought you could stay stuck in your ways forever, think again. You have won the golden prize and as such, you need to be open to possibility, to personal growth, to adventure and to mixing it up a bit. Women that are successful often spend a lot of time educating themselves through books, audio books and online. This means that they tend to be very in touch with themselves, what they want out of life and what they want out of a partner. Because they are successful, average is not an option. Driving the same way to work each day, is probably not going to happen - if you know what I mean.
8. Rather than joke about her fat arse, ask her if she wants to join you for a walk, jog, a hike, skiing or the gym. Sometimes successful women get so busy working, they forget that they need to take time out for themselves and if they let themselves go too much, they will be grossly unhappy. Your job is to make sure that this doesn't happen.
9. Going to a function or dinner party: Don't wear the daggy shirt you bought in the 90's. Wear the shirt that she likes. Chances are that she has better taste than you and it saves her having to have the conversation with you or be embarrassed by what you are wearing.
10. Keep your personal grooming to yourself: Just like the fact that you don't want to know about her bikini line being waxed, she doesn't want to know what you do about body hair or anything else that revolves around personal grooming.
11. Suck it up: Another boring business function? Well, suck it up. If it was for you, she would have to. What's a few hours out of your day? Learn to enjoy it and make the most of the situation. Make sure you are across your wife/girlfriend/lover or prospect's successes and career so you can add value at these functions. Also, if you have ever seen The Devil Wears Prada, then there is a great handy hint where the PAs remember the names of everyone they meet. If you are especially keen to have your woman reach the higher ranks, you may choose to entertain yourself by remembering people's names and things that they say.
12. When stressed, let her make the first move in bed: You will not die missing a night of passion, I can assure you. Women that are stressed often get headaches, their backs hurt, they are mentally exhausted and the last thing they want to do is have sex. Or, it might be the only thing they want. Learn enough about your women to know whether sex is a good thing when stressed or whether it is a bad thing.
13. Be thoughtful: I have only once gone out with a man that experienced how thoughtful I was with little or no reciprocation. I mean, I bought him flowers for his house, candles, a beautiful LV scarf and more, just as thoughtful gifts for no particular reason. He bought me zip. Not a card and not a single thing that said that he thought about me at any stage YET he professed to be open to "all possibilities with me" for the first time in his life at the ripe age of over 50. Dinner is not suffice, let me assure you, because successful women can go to any restaurant they want, anytime. And on top of that, the restaurant is as much for you as it is for her - and don't be fooled that she doesn't know this. It certainly is something to consider particularly when you have a woman that is an equal. A simple card or a book is all that is needed. Flowers are good and so are candles, perfume and a note. But be thoughtful. It takes five minutes to organise and will bring an instant smile to your successful woman's face.
14. Understand PMT: I hate to say this one because I thought that I wasn't moody nor did I think I was affected by PMT. Then I turned 35 and all of that changed. A week before that magic date each month, I am overly sensitive and can on occasion be moody and say things I don't mean. As a woman though, I always apologise, but I need for the man in my life to understand that unfortunately, these things are out of my control and that of my equally successful female friends. A cuddle, a cup of tea and a lot of understanding is required, but in return, you will have a woman 28 days of the month that is awesome to be with, your intellectual equal and someone you are very proud of.
15. Organise stuff: It may be a holiday or where you are going for dinner that night, but as a successful woman who has to make decisions every single day - all day long - we long for someone to take over and be the man at home.
16. Motivate her: Tell her that she can do it and that she has the world at her feet. That you are there to support her every step of the way and you are a partner in her life in every sense. This reassurance will ensure that she doesn't have to second-guess her home life and it leaves her more time to be free to be successful.
17. Kiss her when you walk in the door: No exception.
18. Pinch her on the bum every now and again: Or send her a silly message to make her laugh. The more she laughs and has fun with you, the more her mind is off her work - and that can only be positive. Bring out the playful side in her and in return, she will seek adventure in your relationship - and you never know what that brings.
19. Don't lie: If you tell small lies, she will start second guessing what you are saying and it will destabilize the relationship. You may mean well, but if you start lying about small things, she will be insecure as to whether you are telling the truth on things that matter.
20. Don't perve at the silicon breasted, blonde bimbo that walks past or spend hours perving at people on Facebook or any other medium. You are with an intelligent woman that will find the time you spend trawling Facebook as a waste of time and only for those who don't have a life. As for the obvious perving - its disrespectful. Just like if you are at a party and flirting (which is fine in itself) and the woman you are flirting with thinks you are trying to sleep with her. If this happens, you have crossed the line. Flirting is more than fine, but embarrassing your successful partner in company is totally unacceptable and better than that, they don't have to put up with it. They are not sleeping with you for money, lifestyle or because they can't find anyone else. If they are successful, chances are that men are waiting at the door.
21. Be proud of her accomplishments: It's pretty neat to have a woman in your life that has made it all by themselves. They are talented and unquestionably someone that others aspire to be like. Never feel threatened and instead see it for what it is. She is your partner. The one that you go home to each night. The one you can talk to about anything. The person who walks in the room and instantly it becomes a better place. She can converse with you on every subject, play the perfect wife for the right occasion and have the ability to challenge you when you need challenging. She always knows when to support you and when to give you space.
While this list is long, women are clearly more complicated. Therefore, there are more elements to helping her become more successful through the right man's support. This does not cancel out yesterday's blog on what women need to do to make their men more successful. As a successful woman, I still want to make sure that the house is in order and my man is supported in every way. Even though, we want to have it all, we know its never going to be possible all at once. However, we can work towards it and make sure we always put our best foot forward.