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Mellissah Smith Blog - Page 5 - Marketing Manager Blog

Mellissah Smith

In two days, I will be 42 years old. I write that with a huge smile on my face. I have in the past 12 months had the hardest 12 months of my life from an emotional perspective, but more recently, strangely, the best. As I get older, I keep learning so much about myself and others and I know how enriching that is. Getting older is exciting and allows me to grow in ways I never thought possible. 

When you are navigating life by yourself, it is hard to know whether you are doing the right or the wrong thing. The decisions you make in some way seem less important because all the mission critical one's were made earlier on, yet some are defined more by time. Finally I have hit that mid point in my life and it would be ignorant not to reflect and appreciate the good and learn from the bad. At least that's how I see it.

So many of my friends hit their 40's and have had mid life crisis; divorced or have done something crazy that I am sure one day they will regret. I was a little different. I went within myself and was probably a tad hard on myself and what I had achieved to date, and started this path which I have since gotten off, that was not going to make me happy long-term.

I won't deny that I am my own biggest critic, but mostly what I have learned is that I have grown in ways that make me extremely proud of the person I have become. Not the business woman that the world sees, or those so-called successes, but the person within. I am sure that sounds wrong when someone else reads this, but by saying it out loud, I am revealing who I am today.
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I am not stupid. At least I don't think I am.

I try to listen to what others have to say and when someone gives me advice, I usually take it.

I have these two men in my life that are mentors. They are the two men throughout the world that I hold in the highest business esteem. Yes, the world. Not just Australia, but the world.

Their names are Jack Cowin and Peter Ivany. If you don't know who they are, Google them. It will be well worth your while. They are not your average 'smart cookies', they are briliant businessmen - beyond the brilliance of anyone else I have ever met (and I have met people worth hundreds of billions of dollars and spent quality time with them). I think these two guys are better. 
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I've been away now for one week and am completely relaxed and recharged with a half decent tan courtesy of being in the mediterranean. Travelling has always been something that I have loved to do. I travel constantly for work and also for pleasure, usually mixing the two together. To travel is a luxury and a privilege. For the first time in a long while, I am seeing just how amazing my life has been because I have been able to travel and experience so many different cultures and environments, that broaden my perspective on life.
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Everyone has been there. You know, when you look in the mirror and wonder to yourself 'why you haven't achieved what you set out to achieve' and then give yourself an 'upper cut'. For those who don't know what that means, it's very Australian!

We control our own destiny and deep down, every person, even the one's that blame others for their 'lot in life', know that if you are not achieving something, then it's no-one's fault but your own.

They are harsh words. You may say that you wanted to be rich, but were never given the opportunity but we have heard lots of stories of people growing up dirt poor who become squillionaires or elite sportspeople - so that alone is no excuse.

We all want something. Many of use strive to achieve it and put the right actions in place to make it happen. When failure crosses our path, we get back up and dust ourselves off, then try again, perhaps in a different way.

But some people fail and then become too afraid to get back up. Worse still, some people don't even try, because they are so afraid of failure. For what? Someone is going to laugh at you? Someone is going to think you are not as good as you want them to think? Your ego will be bruised? These things are as silly as they sound. Toughen up and start putting into action the things you need to, to achieve your goals.

There is simply no excuse for not trying and certainly no excuse to blame others, your circumstances or anything else on why you can't do what you really want to do. Anything is possible, you just have to believe.

In my experience, people are often held back (including myself at times) by:

1. Procrastination:

I take full responsibility for the fact that I am a procrastinator. I have great ideas, but often sit on them a little too long or find every excuse as to why I can't do it - namely, because I am too busy. What a load of bullshit. If you want it, do it.

2. Commitment phobic:

Another great reason why you can't achieve what you set out to achieve. You are phobic of making a commitment to achieving it. You want to travel the world, but you find every reason not to book your flight. You want to buy a house, but you find every reason not to put down that deposit. This usually follows you everywhere in life. Work on it. Don't let this be your reason for not succeeding.

3. You are not flexible:

You will only do it your way. You don't listen to others, or take advice and mostly you don't listen to your gut instinct. For instance, you want to be a newsreader, but you live in Sydney, and there is too much competition for roles as journalists. So move to a country town with a small television station so you can learn the ropes and get noticed. But no, you can't move - right? Wrong. If you really want it bad enough, you will do it.

4. You expect instant results:

Let's face it. You most probably will fail the first time. So don't pack up your bags when this happens and head home. Get back up, and try it again. You start a business and it doesn't make you a millionaire over night. Do you close the doors? Or do you keep working at it? The only thing in life that gives you instant results is chocolate and alcohol.

5. The right time never comes:

You are waiting for the right time. When you have had kids, or when you have paid off your mortgage or better still, after Christmas or when the market changes. This is your mind playing delay tactics and winning.

6. You compare yourself to others:

There will always be someone prettier (or better looking) than yourself. There will always be someone smarter or more successful than yourself. Get use to it. Unless you are Bill Gates, which I take it your not if you are reading this blog, there is always going to be someone who makes it look easier than it is, or who will be better than you in some way. Play by your own rules. Own you! Never compare yourself to someone else, but by all means learn from others.




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A woman whom I know name called another woman that she doesn't really know a "gold digger" to me this week. I was mortified. Not only was she completely wrong, and she knew it, she was acting out against another woman due to her own personal insecurities and trying to influence another. On top of this, the person she name called is a highly successful business woman who is 100 percent self made and never taken a penny from any male. She lives a highly luxurious life on her own dime and everyone knows it.
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Somehow we got through the end of financial year in Australia. There's a lot to be done to make sure that everything is in order; every box ticked, every invoice accounted for.

My team made that deadline and for that I am thankful. No late nights, just a lot to be considered. My headspace over the past 2 weeks feels like there is so much in there, that it is impossible to take in any more.

I am in strategy phase. What's next? Where to from here? Who is doing what? What does the next 5 years look like? What does the next 10 years look like? 

Then of course, what about me? What is going to make my life more fulfilling in the next 5 years? Next 10 years?

It was enough to make me burst into tears.
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I've recently changed the narrative of my business. It's not something I took lightly. Re-defining what value you provide to the market place can be game-changing, or business destroying. 

If you look at Uber for instance, they could have failed, but yet they succeeded. Is it sustainable? Most probably. Is it worth the market value associated with the business? Not really. Did they not only change their original narrative, but create a new narrative for the entire industry - disruptive in design?
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To be comfortable in one's own skin is the beginning of strength. That's what they say, and to be honest, I believe it.

I became comfortable in my own skin a few years ago. I stopped trying to be what other people wanted; the outgoing, fun, ambitious Mellissah. Instead, I started being me; a shy introvert who loves business and spends time with people who really matter. 

On my own terms

It wasn't until I became comfortable in my own skin that I really started living life, on my own terms. I know that people prefer the outgoing persona that I use to present, but that is damn hard work. Do you really know how hard it is to be "likeable" and someone who everyone wants to invite to a party? I never had to have "missing out syndrome" because everyone wanted to invite me to everything. Why not? I came with interesting stories, always smiled and talked to everyone. But let me tell you something about that... I was performing. I wasn't the real me.
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In July last year #24yrold asked me to buy her a bike as a bonus for her performance as a Marketing Manager with our firm.

I didn't hesitate, as I know that if someone who works hard does exercise, they perform better and more efficiently than those who do not. Once the dollars and cents worked out, I was completely onboard. 

The problem was that we were both in Atlanta, and if one chose to do something, the other usually followed suit. Afterall, there is no point in riding by yourself all the time, as it could be quite lonely and in some cases particularly in a city like Atlanta, dangerous.
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Every now and again I have to take stock and start all over again. It's not necessarily because I have gotten something wrong. Instead, it's usually because I travel so much and am exposed to some of the most brilliant minds in business, who kindly share their thoughts and philosophies with me, that somewhere along the line, I become inspired or a thought makes more sense than the original plan.

A catalyst for change is the inate desire to be better. To do things in a way that transcends what may be normally expected, and sets in motion a purposeful action leading to an end goal.
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The other day I read an article that Ashton Kutcher shared on Facebook "8 Fears and Insecurities Everyone Has". Of course, like the millions of other people who clicked through to the article, I wanted to know what insecurities and fears other people have.

Ashton outlined his fears in the retweet:

No. 1 I'm not good enough
No. 2 My work isn't good enough
No. 6 I'm afraid of failing/disappointing
No. 7 If people knew the real me, they wouldn't like me

It got me thinking. What are my fears and insecurities? Like most people, I have many but I possibly don't dig deeply into them too often, because who wants to be confronted by what we fear most?

I don't want to be reminded about my fears/insecurities but after reading the article, I decided that it's possibly not the worse idea to confront them head on and by doing that, share them on this blog.

They are a bit 'girly' in some ways and not at all the same as Ashton's (but hey, he is gorgeous, successful, smart, hot blah blah blah). But they are something I think a few readers may relate to.

After a bit of soul searching, this is what I came up with:
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For those who read my blogs, you may have read about the fact that I grew up in a country town in regional Queensland. Charters Towers was once called "The World" and for many still is. It's known for gold, cattle and country music, but to me, its just this quaint town more than an hour outside of Townsville, that I proudly called "my hometown".

Today, after a few emails backwards and forwards, I connected with an old childhood friend, Sonya Gough.
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There’s a lot to love about New York City.

I have been here many times and each and every time, I fall in love all over again.

New York has been kind to me. The weather, reasonably mild for this time of year, has been lovely and easy to accommodate with a few layers of clothing. The restaurants, both new and old, have been outstanding and the people have made me smile. What more can a girl ask at this time of year?
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