How a woman can make their man more successful

How a woman can make their man more successful

This may surprise many who read my blogs, but I am a firm believer that women should support their men.

Coming from a European family, where men rule the roost and women play the pivotal role of supporting their man, I am an advocate of women doing what it takes to support their families and in particular the men in their lives.

When I grew up, my father was the provider. He took out the rubbish and mowed the lawn. He fixed anything that needed to be fixed.

My mother was the housewife. She baked cakes, washed the dishes, cleaned the house and did the shopping.

Their marriage was successful until we had grown up and left school. My mother then decided to have a career and stopped doing the housework, cooking for my father and being there to support him. Now, I am not saying this is the only reason they stopped being married, but it certainly played a part and even my lovely mother agrees.

Which has me thinking... are women stopping their men from being successful because they are too 'new age?'

A recent Marketing Eye blog about 10 Ways A Man Can Be More Successful In Business was so popular our website crashed. Just kidding! It did receive triple the amount of visitors as a normal blog on the same site. Men actually rang my office to tell me how right I was about tips number one and 10. These tips cover how men should appreciate the woman they are with. It was an eye-opener for many men that simply just forget to show their appreciation.

Women on the other hand are now out working for a living and tend to spend less and less time doing the traditional things that women have done so in the past.

As a woman, I want my man to be successful. Who doesn't? Seriously, we all want the men in our lives to 'bring home the bacon', to provide for us, to be our protectors and to be there when we need them. But what role are women playing in this these days?

If you are a working woman, it's hard to fit everything in. Building a career, keeping up with friends and staying fit usually ensures that there is no time left to cook a hearty meal, ask your partner how their day was, iron their clothes, make the bed or do things for them that would make their lives easier.

But I am of the opinion that if one of Australia's most successful women, Imelda Roche, can still iron her husband's shirts and cook dinner for the family at the height of her success, why are women around the world finding excuses to not do these things? Needless to say, she is still happily married and is one of Australia's biggest business success stories.

Are women today cutting off their noses to spite their faces?

Here are some surefire ways to make your husband, lover, partner or prospect more successful:

1. Shut Up! Now that's a confronting thing to say, but it is true. Stop nagging. Don't winge about your day. If they haven't picked up the towel off the floor - how hard is it to pick it up yourself? If the man in your life is being unreasonable, and making a deal about something that is plain ridiculous - shut up! Wait a few hours and see if you still feel the same way. If you do, think about how you are going to communicate it with him that will end in a positive result for both you and him.

2.  Wear lipstick: A good friend of mine Marise, always wears lipstick at the dinner table even if its only her and her husband having dinner. Dressing up for your man shows him that you care about how you look and want him to still find you sexy, desirable and the way you were when you first met. Also, work out, keep your body in shape and don't let yourself go. This is not only for your man - it is also for yourself.

3.  Understand where he is coming from: Men are brought up to be men. That means, depending on who their teacher was, they have a whole mindset around what that actually means. Why not ask your man what it means to him and work out how you can better accomodate his needs so that your relationship benefits from a firmer understanding of what a man is in your household.

4.  Let him watch the football: It's a couple of hours out of a weekend and it gives you time to do the things that you need to do. It's inevitable that every person wants time out. Women read gossip magazines or chat to their friends. Men watch football. Simple.

5.  Keep the house tidy: When a man is busy, the worst thing in the world is to come home to an untidy dwelling. Clutter means confusion and places pressure on their brains. They cannot deal with it. Sure, they may have been messy before you met them, but they have learned that part of the value of having you in their lives is that you provide a home for them, not a bachelor pad.

6.  Learn to understand what stress does to people: Being a man and being successful often comes with a lot of stress. Men put pressure on themselves to provide money for the family, social standing and leadership. When something goes wrong with a deal, in the office, or through no fault of their own like a car breaking down - it can be stressful. With stress, people yell, are unreasonable, say things they don't mean, don't think clearly and let any little thing set them off. If you understand stress and what it does to people, it will help you better understand your man. You will be able to provide them with the support they need to minimise the stress that they are under.

7.  Don't shop until you drop: No man wants a woman that is a compulsive shopper. Improve yourself and your own self-worth by buying things that you need and when you want to spoil yourself, do it only on special occasions. Women that shop compulsively are often incredibly unhappy people with their lives and men pick up on this.

8. Listen to what he has to say: OK, if you are not in business, your eyes may glaze over as your man tells you about his day and what deals he has been working on. But sometimes your man needs to do this to provide himself with a better understanding of what he is doing and by saying it out loud, it allows them pick up on things they may have missed during the day. Also, quite often, you are the only person in the world to whom he can say "I am on the brink of signing a million dollar deal - we are going to be rich" or that an employee is pissing him off. It's amazing how valuable pillow talk really is. Additionally, if you have half a brain, you may have a perspective on what has happened during your man's day that provides 'food for thought'. He may not take up your perspective but at least it gives him one that may not be the same as his own.

9.  Read: Read things that relate to your man, his business and his interests, so that when he comes home, you have something to talk about. When you attend business dinners with your man, you are able to engage with others at the table in a meaningful way. Your man will be proud and you will add value to him becoming more successful.

10. Give him lots of sex as and when he needs it: There was obviously something in the early days that had you wanting to have sex with him, so don't stop because you are comfortable or because you are married. You don't want him running away with his secretary or PR chick as so many successful men seem to do. Be sexy, and find the inner desire to want to please your man on all levels. I am sure you will be surprised at how happy it will make you too.

Some women will read this blog and be totally offended by its content. But don't be dismayed as tomorrow there will be another blog on how men can make their career women more successful. It works both ways.

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comments ( 29 )
  • Katie
    06 Jul 2018

    This was a great read! And I absolutely agree with you! So odd to see the other comments. I understand some of these beliefs are outdated but then again divorce rates are higher than ever. So it makes perfect sense

  • Jessica
    18 Jun 2018

    What a shame that someone so influential would post a blog like this. Women have come so far in achieving equality yet here you are posting about how women should wear lipstick at the dinner table so that your husband will "still find you sexy". I expected more from someone as switched on as you.

    31 Dec 2016

    You truly need psychological help. You are nothing more than a husband doormat! My hard work and master's level education with a successful, loving and amazing husband, who's ass I did not have to kiss via "lipstick" or anything else, respectfully tell you to fuck off. You nothing more than a cheap whore trying to support your husband with a terrible blog.

  • Anna
    07 Mar 2016

    Great post. I agree with every point, especially the first one! It took me years to arrive at the same conclusions.

  • modern Woman
    modern Woman
    11 Oct 2015

    What a load of S**t who wrote this some middle aged man still living with his mother who looks after him as if he was still 5??? I've tried shutting up and letting him be, I've tried nagging, I've tried being the step ford wife your S***ty article proposes. What about the woman?? What about the woman who want to gauge their own eyes out so they don't have to see his shoes on the floor because he isn't a capable adult and can't do anything for himself. The woman who really try to support their man only to see him on the couch all day with his hands down his pants spending all your money while he 'runs his business'. I know it s wrong to keep score in marriages but why is it so wrong to want to have a 50 - 50 equal in everything relationship?? People like you make me sick.

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    20 May 2014

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    time in trend
    26 Oct 2013

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  • Ronete
    07 Sep 2013

    Is this article is for real or a spoof? It is so shockingly offensive on so many levels that I find it hard to believe this is for real, even though all signs show it is. Oh, and I'm European and her idea of how men and women are at home is more than 50 years out of date. All 10 suggestions are extremely worrying, but 10 - advising a woman to have sex she doesn't want - is as disturbing as it gets.

  • Gemma
    06 Sep 2013

    I think this is a copy and paste from a 50ies handbook and is a prank to get traffic to the site..

  • Joshua Danton Boyd
    Joshua Danton Boyd
    06 Sep 2013

    I'm struggling to believe this isn't a parody.

  • Remittance Girl
    Remittance Girl
    06 Sep 2013

    Dear Ms. Smith,

    I'm pretty sure you're a middle-aged single man. The cliches and stereotyped understanding of any partnership, never mind a contemporary one, is so far from resembling anything real as to be laughable.

    This reads like a misogynistic comedy sketch from the 1950s. So that's how I'm taking it.

    Nice to see the 'Marketing Eye' go for cut price humour every now and then

  • Alison May
    Alison May
    06 Sep 2013

    "Seriously, we all want the men in our lives to 'bring home the bacon', to provide for us, to be our protectors"

    No, we don't all want that. To say that we do is a pretty huge assumption about half the population. Given the sheer numbers of women on the planet, it seems far more likely that we want a whole range of different stuff. There's also some pretty big assumptions about men too - plenty of men detest football, think that lipstick feels sticky and slimy and like something you definitely wouldn't want to be kissing.

    If you're in a relationship, yes, absolutely support each other's career and ambitions, and be nice to each other and appreciate your differences, but maybe do it based on your individual personalities and wants and needs, not on an overarching 'All men want...' or 'All women want...'

  • Rab Locke
    Rab Locke
    06 Sep 2013

    This is truly awful, dire rubbish! Please please please, any women reading this JUST IGNORE EVERYTHING!

  • SW
    20 Aug 2013

    "Are women today cutting off their noses despite their faces?"

    I think the phrase you are looking for is 'cutting of their noses TO SPITE their faces'.

  • N
    14 Aug 2013

    I find this pretty patronising actually. I think things are more difficult for women these days if they have to work. I.e. there is no other option. There is no discussion here about how to get a man to be a willing partner instead of someone who thinks the world revolves around them. There are some ideas here, but they come straight from the 1950s!

  • Kirsty
    11 Apr 2012

    Being an aspiring 'new age' woman this article came as a shock at first. Although, this does bring to mind the research done with couples carrying out their appropriate gender roles generally leading to more successful relationships and marriages in the long term. Some career minded women may want it all and place a large amount of pressure on themselves to fufill all their roles. Although, when things are going well at work and things are falling apart at home this can be extremely damaging for women never feeling as though they are measuring up. I think it is finding that balance so women are not taking on more than what they can chew, even if it evolves uncomplicating their lives.

  • Ren
    28 Mar 2012

    Love the ideas Mellissah!!

    especially reading up on his area of interests. That would defiantly broaden our horizons a bit and give us the opportunity to discuss topics more openly.

    Another practical and useful blog. I couldn't agree any more with what you have to say.

    Thanks again!

  • Jason mass
    Jason mass
    27 Mar 2012

    I love your article. My wife is reading it next. I left a lot o posts on your FB

  • Cliff Kurtzman
    Cliff Kurtzman
    25 Mar 2012

    These are great... I don't always need the lipstick and I'm more into tennis than football, but the basic idea of treating the relationship as a partnership and focusing on supporting and pleasing your partner in addition to yourself is fundamental to achieving mutual happiness.

    As someone who loves to cook, and is in fact pretty good at it, I don't think that the assumption of housekeeping duties is inherently a gender oriented activity. I do believe that if one partner is working long hours in an external job and the other is not, then the one who is not is generally going to need to step up to taking on the vast majority of the household responsibilities. Having one person work long hours while the other person goes shopping, and then trying to split the housekeeping after that, is a recipe for disaster.

    I also agree with Heinlein's Lazarus Long regarding the fact that there are repercussions to the inherent biological differences between men and women. As he noted... "Whenever women have insisted on absolute equality with men, they have invariably wound up on the dirty end of the stick. What they are and what they can do makes them superior to men, and their proper tactic is to demand special privileges, all the traffic will bear. They should never settle merely for equality. For women, 'equality' is a disaster."

    So I'll look forward to reading part two.