Why I never reward bad behavior

In the past few days I have been challenged. Sometimes not so nice people come into your world and you can just kick them out, or if you are as pathetic as I can be at times, you can hope that they will change. Rarely do they change, but I really want them to and I hope for the best. Is that such a bad thing?

I needed someone who I cared and loved deeply to fix something that ultimately he was responsible for. He dismissed it. He is a narcissist so unless it directly affects him, he fobs it off. It doesn't matter. But it matters to me. Most importantly, it matters to me moving forward. If someone else creates the problem, then they should fix it. Right?

Well, there are people out there that won't. They look in the mirror and everything is always someone else's problem. They only care about themself. 

This same person layed in bed beside me when my uncle died and changed the subject really fast, only to find a few weeks later that the same thing happened to him and I listened and cared while he talked about it for an hour or more. I felt his pain. He didn't feel mine. I guess, that's when you know there is a problem.

But today, I made a decision. I firstly did research on narcissists of which he is one if I believe the definition and it is accurate. Then I thought deeply about the children he is affecting by flying away from them at every single opportunity to go play overseas. I feel for them deeply. They are going through very important years and if anything, they need both their parents more so than ever. They are all nice kids and the littlest one particularly needs a hug a bit more often than a couple of nights a month or when it is convenient. It worries me although this is not directly my problem.

Today, I did that without naming names. Then after a dismissive meeting yesterday with no concern about fixing the problem I joined the last person he pissed off who has posted stuff all over social media and refuses to take it down, and reposted their posts about a holiday in Ibiza. I left it up for a few minutes and due to my large following, all of his business achievements went to the bottom and my posts sat firmly at the top. It is unlikely he would ever have been able to take them down.

I screen shot them and texted it to him, then pulled them down. It hurts right? I didn't want to hurt him, I wanted him to make a simple phone call he should have made a year ago, but dismissed it.

I say, don't reward bad behaviour but be careful not to join it too. Always take the high ground. There is more ways in which to achieve what you need to achieve and I can do so quite easily if I set my mind to it, but it's not my preference. I am shy except on this blog. To have to deal with this will cause a lot of anxiety but I have to as this is part of my move forward strategy and it won't go away otherwise.

Food for thought, but it is always necessary to do the right thing. I showed my point. If he has any self respect he will take action. My next step will take me out of the comfort zone and make sure that I have to share more of myself than I would like to - but it's necessary. It's not something I can let lie.

Update: Fixed. Amazing what some things can achieve.