When you are a successful woman, you are expected to be a whole heap of things, even if some of them you are 'faking it until you make it'.

I know first hand how much I have to perform. I have to hold a room in a meeting, and ensure that I am articulate, on point and relevant. In the office, I have to look like a leader and inspire my team to be high performers. At lunch with clients, I am on a stage. I have to entertain, say things worthwhile, make them laugh and show them that there is a real person under this business persona. At a staff Christmas party, I have to show my team that I am one of them, but I can't drink too much (not that I want to), and I am completely responsible for every persons behaviour and safety.
Why successful women need to be submissive

Then when I go home, I have to make all the decisions. What I am going to eat that night, whether or not I will exercise, and what other things need to be done. I try to not do more than 3 dinners per week with others as it is too exhausting, because no matter how much you enjoy their company, you are still on show. They still have an expectation of who you are by what you do and how you portray yourself. Even my most closest friends have an expectation, and mostly they don't mean to, but they do.

It's a big gig.

In fact, to be successful you have to be so many things to so many people. You have to look the part, you can't been seen doing things that are unexpected, and you have to be above the noise. Just thinking of it makes me sigh.

I am sure you are questioning why I would say that 'successful women need to be submissive'. 

There is method to my madness. I am sure you are shocked that I feel this way, but I can only go from my own experiences. Being submissive is not a bad thing, and it is not something that you should be ashamed about or look down upon. In fact, you should embrace it. I do.

A submissive person is someone who willingly submits to the authority of another. A submissive person enjoys having a service-oriented mindset and finds peace of mind in taking orders from those he or she has placed in positions of power. This can be at home, in the workplace, among friends or in community relationships.

Healthy submissive relationships are conscious and consensual. In other words, one party has agreed to hold more power of one kind or another. The other party has agreed to submit.

Think about business. If I am submissive, and know that at the end of the day, all the power lies within my team, and I embrace that - then they will feel empowered to make decisions, be self-starters, and be in control of their own future. They will also find themselves in a position where they have to bring something to the table, because if they don't no-one else will. 

Traits that submissive people have that are incredibly positive to both the business and personal environments include:

  • Self-awareness: They know that by giving up control, they are actually empowering others to set the pace, decide what is best, and come to conclusions that are in everyone's best interests.
  • Understanding of trust: They have learned that trust is imperative to any relationship. Trusting people takes a lot of burden off your shoulders and while you are working your way through the jungle of being successful, if you don't trust you have a very hard and long road ahead of you.
  • Purpose: Giving up control, allows you to focus on your purpose and that of others.
  • Awareness of other's needs: Some people flourish by having control and making decisions. It makes successful people more successful as they are giving others the opportunity to realise their full potential.
  • Hard working: When you are submissive, you make a firm decision to work hard on your mind, body and physicality. That means you work very hard to ensure that everyone around you has everything in place so that they are able to do what they need to do at the highest possible level with no excuses.
  • Peace of mind: When at the end of the day, you have given over control, it gives you a sense that the responsibility lies on someone else's shoulder. It may be a team of people or just one.
  • High self-esteem: I know what I am worth. I look in the mirror and like who I am. So what if I believe in cooking and cleaning for my loved one's and picking up after them. So what if I believe I am here to serve my employees. Is that really that bad?



Mellissah Smith is a serial entrepreneur and business leader with more than 20 years' experience in marketing.
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Mellissah Smith

Mellissah Smith is a marketing expert, author, writer, public speaker and technology innovator. Having worked with more than 300 companies across technology, medical device, professional services, manufacturing, logistics, finance and health industries, Mellissah has a well-established reputation as an experienced marketing professional with more than 20 years experience. As the founder and managing director of Marketing Eye, she has taken the company from startup to a multi-million dollar enterprise with offices in Australia and the US. Mellissah is also the Editor in Chief of Marketing Eye Magazine, a quarterly magazine that cover marketing, entrepreneurship, travel, health and wellbeing. #mellissah #marketingeye

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